This is The Phantom Knocks



I hope you enjoyed that little video I made:)

Although judging by youtube. Absolutely fucking nobody has watched it.

Thanks for that!



I’m going to take you on a little trip inside my mind,
down here at the Fanny Knocks.

Into the darkest reaches of my psyche.

To the furthest depths of my soul!

and it’s not going to be very pleasant.


I’ll be saying some pretty controversial things!

so be prepared to be offended.

I’ll also be swearing a lot, and being sarcastic.

So if that’s not your thing…

then you know what to do.


I bet you all have dark thoughts, don’t you?

In the dark corners of your mind, hidden away,
lurking in the back of your brain?
Never to be mentioned.

We all know that they’re there, but we never talk about them.

Well, I’ll tell you about mine.

Maybe you have dark, psychotic visions

of waterboarding George Osborne?

Or a disturbing dream, where you set a bomb off!

During a live broadcast of “The X-Factor”?



Well, whatever.

It’s those kind of thoughts I’ll be talking
about here on The Phantom Knocks.


I’ll be doing some investigating too,

into the nefarious, corrupt activities,
our lying, murderous toerag “so called” leaders get up to,
when they’re not fondling young children.

Whether that means rummaging around in bins,
or being chased by the hounds of hell!

I’ll get to the truth one way or another.

(That was a fox metaphor, by the way)


I’m not banking on getting many viewers for this blog.

I’m not a particularly happy chappie, I must admit.

So if you click on here expecting some light relief,

then you’ve come to the wrong place.


Anyway! I’m off now to do some rummaging around.

I’m sure to come up with something.


Don’t have nightmares.


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