BREAKING NEWS

Johnny Depp’s Dogs have been refused re-entry into the United States,
and are suspended PERMANENTLY in the sky!

Furthermore Actor Depp (51) has been informed by the United Nations
that NO COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD will accept his mutts, leaving the Film Star fearful
that the plane will have to be crash landed into the Ocean.

Depp is understood to be “absolutely devastated” with the news.

“I’m absolutely fucking devastated”, said Depp, to the press pack
who arrived at his hotel in Queensland, Australia, where he’s filming
a film about golf or something.

“I bloody love those dogs, and now it looks like they’re going to drown.”
he added.

“After all the good I’ve done for the world with my films,
you’d think somebody would help me out… fucking arseholes!”

The news comes after Johnny’s pooches Pistol and Boo were asked to leave,
Australia, because they’ve got rabies, and now with time running out,
and jet fuel running low! American Airlines fear the rabies will SPREAD
throughout the aircraft, killing the pilots, leaving only the dogs THEMSELVES
to land the plane.

“It’s like something out of the film “Airplane!”, said Depp
“only this time it’s for real…
surely something can be done to save my dogs?”

Depp has now turned to his pal Ricky Gervais’s dog Patch for help.
A trained pilot in the RAF, Patch is understood to be in constant
radio contact with Pistol and Boo, in a desperate attempt to teach
the daring duo how to dock the plane safely.

But time is running out!

What’s going to happen!?

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WILL! THE PILOTS DROP DEAD FROM RABIES?

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WILL! THE PLANE RUN OUT OF FUEL?

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WILL! PISTOL & BOO LAND THE AIRPLANE?

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OR WILL! THEY ALL DROWN TO DEATH IN THE OCEAN?

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?

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