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UNPUBLISHED ARTICLES AND MISCELLANEOUS THINGS
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FIRE IN PARADISE
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I got quite far into this before realising it was a script for an action film.
Set in Terramar, the film begins with Epstein reminiscing from his jail cell. He narrates the story about the time he stole some flamingos from Richard Branson’s island and all hell breaking loose when Branson turned up to rescue them with Stephen Hawking. Epstein is jealous of Branson because he can’t attract the exotic birds to his island Little St. James. He breeds the flamingos, clips their wings and is cruel to them. The birds nests are guarded by robot cement mixers!
Branson is caught and thrown in a dungeon. Meanwhile, Stephen Hawking tries to save the birds on a mini-sub but crashes it into Dog Island.
Later that night there’s a Wicker Man style human sacrifice ritual in front of the temple with Bill Clinton, hooded Hollywood celebrities, burning torches and demonic chanting which goes wrong when Branson escapes from the Wicker man and the island catches on fire. Kate Winslet attacks Branson with an axe and Epstein escapes through the temple which is an elevator leading underground.
Branson chases Epstein through the tunnels under the island kind of like Indiana Jones with trap doors, labyrinths and mirrored rooms. Underage sex slaves are freed from cages as the celebrities flee the burning island. The film climaxes with a show down between Epstein, a giant cement mixer and Branson as the flamingos escape on Ghislaine Maxwell’s boat which is driven by Mick Jagger!
End credits are Jumping Jack Flash as the boat sails away.
April 21st, 2020
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CRUNTS
I gave up on this one, it needed to be a comedy sketch. It was a pastiche of Crufts to find the most corrupt politician of 2016. The cover image was good though!
June 3rd, 2016
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HULABALOO GOES FISHING
This was for an animation about a little egg man who goes fishing at a pond where some odd things happen. I’d no idea how to do it so threw it on the Scrap Heap.
Jan 18th, 2016
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JIHADI BIRDS OF DEATH
I’ve just published this one. I read it and thought it was quite funny. It’s about Bill Oddie’s Grandsons getting indoctrinated into extremist Islam by Arjem Choudray’s parrots.
click on the image to view
July 11th, 2015
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FBI arrive on Epstein’s Island
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Nice LARP about the elevator. There is one in his NY Apartment though.
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These were a response to porn star Jenna Jameson coming out in support of QAnon.
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Hollywood Bombs
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Some Putin themed mischief
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There’s probably a few more scraps I can add in here, I’ll update this thread at some point.
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thephantomknocks.com 